The 8 ways of staying sane at work

The easiest thing  to do in the world of work  is to go insane.  It happens to the best of us if we “care” about our work.  Things eat away at us around the edges and suddenly in a last straw moment, voila….., we are certifiably nuts.  Well, maybe not permanently, but we act like it for a long enough period of time that if someone were to only watch us for those few minutes or hours they would certainly not want to be our BFF.

I can’t guarantee following these few pieces of advice will totally eliminate your mental breakdowns, but they will help greatly.  I will devote an article to each topic, and in some cases a step in the plan will take several articles to explore fully.

So let’s just jump in……you need the help right?  The following topics make up the magic elixir:

1. Find a Trusted Friend at Work
2. Find Personal Balance — Staying Positive
3. Serve Others
4. Improve Your Skills
5. Become a Better Communicator
6. Ask For Improvement
7. Playing Politics – The Rules
8. Exit Strategy

Finding a friend at work

Let’s start with the assumption that you already have someone that you trust at work.  I am talking about someone at work with whom you share your concerns about work, family, finances, etc.  Maybe you don’t talk about your bank balance or intimate aspects of your love life, but they understand the drift of your life.  For instance: Maybe you are having some difficulty paying all the bills, the fact that you have some family issue, you and your boss aren’t seeing eye to eye on things, etc.  You may not hang out with them after hours or on the weekend, but you feel close enough to them that if the opportunity came up to get together for drinks, lunch,  a party, Superbowl or whatever, you would enjoy the time together, not accompanied by a feeling of dread or boredom.

If you have this person or a few people like that, hang on to them. They are like gold.  They above many things we will talk about over the next few articles, will help you to navigate the waters of work life sanity. Studies have shown that having a friend at work greatly enhances the likelihood that you will be satisfied or at least tolerate your job.  You spend a lot of frickin time at work. You might as well find someone you like to share that time with during a break or while working on projects.  That trust you have in a friend greases the wheels to getting things done efficiently and effectively. 

Now my caution here is not be overly supportive of  the codependent relationships or those that wallow in negativity and griping. Hey there is nothing wrong with a little “supportive” behavior with each other, or a good venting session to get it off your chest. But there has to be balance. Balance is a topic coming up shortly. So hold that thought.

What if you don’t have a friend at work. The question is, why not?  Are you showing genuine interest in what other people say, or do, or care about? Are you taking the time to find out about them. Again I am not talking: stalking, butt kiss up behavior, buying them gifts to be their one and only, or any other such unbalanced behavior. I am talking about, in a casual, calm way finding out about another person’s interests and concerns. Listening. Not lecturing. Not judging or trying to convince them of your beliefs, but finding out what makes them tick. And don’t play 200 questions….. just be natural about it. Be patient about it.  Becoming friends is something that can take some time.  Some people do not easily trust other folks for a variety of reasons.  Don’t push it.

But the more you are open to making friends, listening to other people’s interests and concerns, the more likely it is that a friendship will start to grow. Again, don’t force it. No pledging your trust and undying loyalty with cuts to the pinkies in the maintenance closet. 

Maybe it is too hard  to think about making “friends” at work. Maybe where you work it is not part of the culture to get too close to one another. Yes there are those places. So think about it as building a relationship with someone. No, not a romantic relationship. Just a relationship where you get to know someone better and learn more about their likes and dislikes; their preferences; their habits. Does that make it sound more possible? OK….so go for that…..just go for “I will get to know people better.”  Perhaps that is as good as it gets for you or for the environment where you work.  I hope for something more for you, but let’s just take baby steps.

So this is a big step toward maintaining your sanity at work. Find a friend, talk to that person, listen to what they have to say, support one another.  All these points are separate topics practically. Certainly there is an article about listening and another about what it means to be supportive of one another. For now let’s assume you have some pretty good idea of what that means.

Tell someone today that you appreciate some aspect of your relationship with them, or thank them for something that they did for you. It’s a start.  And no, I am not asking you to send your good wishes to 20 people in the next 15 minutes with instructions for them to do the same. This has nothing to do with Pay it Forward  or Random Acts of Kindness program. Just say a genuine thanks or compliment to someone you know at work.

I think people look for the silver bullet in so many aspects of their lives they can miss the real basic, simple things that can make a huge difference.  Pay attention to people around you, listen….stop multitasking when you are having a conversation. Focus on the other person.