Staying sane tactic #3 — Serve others

We have all heard that serving others will give us a greater sense of self worth and satisfaction. Better to give than to receive, etc.  As I write this we are heading into the Christmas season. But other than the superficial giving of gifts sometimes we can fall short at work to be in a giving, serving mode.

Opportunity to serve can happen at all levels:

• Clients
• vendors
• subordinates (no I am not talking about raises for everyone)
• peers
• our bosses

Serving our clients

This one is overdone with the worn out view of “the customer’s always right”.  We all know that is not true. And in fact I would contend that we serve our customers best when we are clear in our expectations and we stick to those “agreed to commitments”, instead of bowing to every neurotic claim they may make.  This is why contracts exist.  We should strive to provide the client/customer everything within the scope of the contract.  And in every regard within that scope deliver the goods or services in an excellent way.  However, we don’t serve them [or ourselves] if we over-deliver. This happens so often because people feel we need to deliver excellent quality to our customers. Right? But that kind of over-deliver thinking has put many companies in the red and out of business.

What does providing quality really mean? One way to look at it means meeting the performance expectations of the product, service/advice that the customer is willing to pay for … no more, no less.

• In my years in HR roles I have seen people regularly struggle over being perfectionists in an environment that is unwilling to pay for that level of quality. 
• I see it in people who work with unreasonable clients;
•  In people who work with reasonable clients but they themselves have no self control and are perfectionists about what they produce;
•  In people who work within organizations that are looking to improve internal processes but don’t have the patience to see it through to the end (so they create their own frustration…It’s not happening [fast enough]).

Of course I am not opposed to doing excellent work! However, that work should not try to constantly exceed everyone’s expectations, in a manner that ultimately creates unrealistic expectations, that ends up hurting the process, relationship or a deliverable.

Giving back to vendors

What could we do to serve or give back to vendors? Well firstly, assuming they have delivered on what we asked of them…..pay them on time.  Nothing sours a relationship/partnership faster than slow pay.  Maybe you are not in charge of when people get paid on their invoices, but pay attention. If they inquire about a slow payment of their invoice, communicate internally and then back to the vendor as to what is happening with their situation. Most of the time accounts payable will want to communicate with the vendor, and that is as it should be. But you have the relationship with the vendor, so don’t ignore them. Pay them on time….. This is fair and the best way to show appreciation or “serve them”.

Another way to serve vendors is to be clear on what you need, make sure they understand your needs, and have reasonable, realistic expectations of their product, service or deliverable.

Serving subordinates

Don’t you hate that term …subordinates…..how freakin’ antiquated can you get? But that is it …. We can say associates…but that feels like peers, and in fact most people in this age still report to people. Thus we have subordinated relationships.

Serving subordinates means making it easier for them to do their jobs.

• Help get some of the crap out of their way. 
• Help them stick with what is critical to the success of your group.  Clear the way.
•  Be clear on priorities, don’t switch them every hour or two. 
• Follow up with them on the things they supply you …..So they can tell that what they have busted their but for …..mattered.

Don’t waste their time schmoozing with them. They don’t want to necessarily listen to every detail of your weekend, your views of the world or your family.  I have seen many managers who use their subordinates as therapists.  The subordinate listens to the boss because they have to.  Now I have to say, there are times to share your stories and concerns, but don’t overdo the use of the reporting relationship to provide your venting.

Peer to peer

Serving your peer may mean supporting them in meetings on issues that you are aware of that are important to their success and sanity. It may mean being clear with them on situations where they may have gone astray, missed the mark. In other words give them good feedback in a constructive manner.

Help them by giving good advice. Be objective and honest. But let me tell you the whole honesty thing is overdone. Do not be obnoxious or overly blunt. Good honest feedback does not have to mirror an intervention or encounter group.  If the situation allows, take your time to make sure they are clear with what you are saying.  Don’t do a cliffs notes version.   Impatience is one of the biggest ways to destroy a good relationship (any relationship).  Give them the time the topic deserves, unless of course timely critical feedback is urgently required. ….maybe they are about to step on a land mine. This is not the time for patience….spit it out. Stop them from committing political suicide or whatever other fate they are headed for……

Kissing up to the boss

Serving the boss does not mean kissing up.  Very few bosses get real feedback from their subordinates. People are scared to tell the guy he is a jerk.  Well…..we are all jerks at times. Give the person a break…she is only human.  Again, be patient.  If you go in to “get things off your chest”, well who is that for?  You. Not the boss.  Take the time to make the point…build the point.  This is probably one of the biggest lessons we can all learn.  How to give feedback up.  It takes courage, practice (take baby steps) and patience.   But if your boss is worth her salt, she will appreciate the sagacious advice offered in a polite, non-threatening way.   If on the other hand he or she resents even your most subtle approaches which are well thought out and objective……well that may be another topic for a different post.   What to do when you have done your best and the guy is just a jerk.  Maybe you serve him best by leaving if you have tried everything you can to provide good advice up the ladder.  But don’t be too hasty.

Serving others does work. Helping others at work will help you to feel better about whatever job you are tackling. Take other’s perspective and how it will / could help them and that …….will serve you.